My Current Slogan
It’s wedding season. I tell myself to get over it but I cannot. There is something within me that is stirring and I am afraid I cannot let it rest. But it makes me contemplate the thought of marriage as a whole, in all it forms.
Traditional Marriage: So, yes, putting my whole horrible experience aside, let’s examine traditional marriage. 1 man 1 woman, united in a house of God of some sort. The Hindus see this union as the utmost sacred of vows. When Katy Perry and Russell Brand got married in a Hindu Ceremony, and then split up, the religious leaders were extremely angry and hurt. The divorce rate is sky high. People are being reduced to statistics. In order to get married in the Catholic Church, the couple must both be Catholic, attend pre-marriage counseling by celibate priests, and it MUST be in a church, it cannot be outside or on the beach or anything, unless approved personally by a bishop. Everyone else seems to be pretty chill about where you can get married.
I don’t know about you, but even from an unmarried perspective, this all seems like a huge pain in the ass. I always thought it seemed to be like this. Wedding planning, making sure relatives don’t kill each other, finding a mate that your parents approve of? What’s the payoff? Why the hell do we keep putting ourselves through this?
Tax benefits? Social acceptance? Easier to provide for children? The satisfaction of calling the “love” of your life husband or wife? Stop feeling that God will strike you down every time you kiss them?
I don’t know. It seems like a lot of pressure. I don’t think I’ll get “married” again, but that’s me being a 20 something without kids. By the time I’m 33 and if I don’t have kids… I reserve the right to reverse my opinion. If I do I’m not changing my name again… I now have one of the worst last names I’ve ever come across. It’s awful and the teenagers make fun of it. Either way, a Justice of the Peace will do in extreme or dire circumstances.
From a religious perspective. Meh. I don’t have an organized religion, hence, I have no rules. Pretty cool feeling like that. Though if I had my own religion I’d make it so you can only get married after wearing a funny hat, playing a game of Monopoly at noon on a Tuesday. If you’d go through humiliation, you’re ready to get married.
Arranged Marriages: Traditionally, this has been the case for families to trace their lineage and their success. Some women are incensed by this and say it stomps on rights of choice. It is a controlling system, I’ll give it that. Oddly, this idea appeals to me. Why? I have had a horrible time choosing someone for myself. I’m getting lazy in the matter. Everyone I choose has some deep secret or is a complete jackass. If my parents picked they’d have found me a rich, good looking doctor with great hair. How could I refuse? Besides I haven’t ever had “Romance” it just never happens to me that way. So, I’m willing to be practical.
However, a modern compromise would be dating a large amount of people before actual marriage. That way you believe you have the best deal. Who knows, you may fall in love in the process? Best of both worlds to be honest.
“Gay” Marriage: This is probably the whole reason for this post. You see, I live in North Carolina, and for some reason the state decided by 61 to 39% last night that not only is gay marriage SUPER illegal, but men and women living together unmarried is SUPER discouraged as well. No more benefits to partners, no more benefits to widows, no more domestic violence protections for women or children.
I digress.
Frankly, marriage is for a family unit. Family units don’t look the same like they used to. Family units can have 1 parent, 2 parents, or more. I don’t care if a family has 2 dads or two moms. I feel that as long as they love and support each other, that’s what a partnership is about. That’s what marriage is supposed to be about. Love and growth between two adults.
Religious nutjobs aside, opponents of gay marriage don’t have a legal leg to stand on. Rights should be conferred to all.
Polygamy/Polyandry: With the rise of Mormon fascination in the past few years, I feel I must address this. Frankly, I have an extreme abhorrence for this idea, because of several reasons.
1. Once upon a time it served a purpose, but it does not any longer. Polyandry [more than one husband] was practiced in ancient Asia when there were not many women in a community. 1 woman would go to 2 brothers. Polygamy [more than one wife] was meant to be there for procreation. We have too many people. We don’t need to have babies everywhere.
2. This system DOES control WOMEN. From the Middle Eastern Cultures to the Fundamentalist Mormons, this institution preys on women, children, and tends to seek a male dominated culture and mentality. Men are better, women are property.
3. The glamorization of this idea recently is disturbing. It is misunderstood, and often seems to be the “solution” for a guy who wants more than one woman.
4. I am a monogamous creature. I do not want more than one man. I refuse to be part of a relationship with more than one woman. That one woman is ME! That’s my nature. That’s my preference.
You might notice there is a contradiction. Rights for gays but not for Polygamy? That’s not what I’m saying. I’m saying it doesn’t work for me. Pro-polygamy/polyandry groups have a lot of reasons why they want what they want. That’s what they want, not what I want, but I would not deprive them of their right to do what they want.
That’s fine. But notice what my main message is.
Marriage sucks in all its forms. YOU SHOULD HAVE THE CHOICE OF WHAT YOU WANT YOUR FAMILY UNIT TO BE.
As soon as the law gives privilege to one group– that’s where regulation comes in. Take away the marriage benefits and make everyone happy.
No group should be given more privileges than the other. That’s not equal. The law is EQUAL. Marriage tax credits? Get rid of them!
That’s why people believe they have the right to tell people what to do. They pay TAXES so they think they can be OVERLORDS.
That’s a way to win this culture war. Take away the prize of marriage.
Feel free to disagree. I would not restrict your right to tell me to go jump in the lake.
reesubmerged 