I love my instincts. They know exactly what I need.
So I went to my normal event that I do every month and this time I dressed up and was pretty and wore necklaces and stuff. It was a really good meditation on letting go of things.
I really really really need to let go of some anger and similar issues, especially toward my exhubby. I don’t want him affecting my life on this core emotional level anymore.
He needs to be “Someone I used to know” but I know that song is overplayed, soIi chose “Poison and Wine” by the Civil Wars.
I’ll get to the chocolate.
He actually showed up this month, with the girlfriend in tow. She was wearing his sweatshirt. The same one I used to wear.
He tried to be very casual with his approach to me, but I didn’t care. I went all defensive and junk. I don’t make eyecontact, my sentences are short and i only tell him what he needs to know. Which y the way is absolute jack.
Anywho– I took a more in charge roll and made sure he knew it.
We had the meditation and I could barely pay attention because I was focused on letting go of all this anger.
But then he had the audacity to try to talk to me again so I hid in my coat, yeah because that’s the mature thing to do.
HE’S JUST SO FREAKING TOXIC.
After the meditation, i hid in the kitchen when his girlfriend was trying to get a friend of mine to eat some bked goods she made. I hear the following:
“Mark said they were ‘Interesting’ i wonder what that means!?”
“Oh, well, Interesting can never be good” <– My friend
I then see my friend spit it out when she leaves the room because it’s apparently disgusting.
Betcha he misses my baking ^^
My friend than followed me because I knew I had to tell someone the deal. I needed someone else on my side there at these gatherings so I can feel at home again.
Boy did I pick the right one.
We talked for about 30 min about what happened and why we don’t like certain people. She didn’t like all the people I didn’t like but she didn’t know why. I explained it all too her.
Then we decided to be chocolate buddies at Starbucks after the meeting.
Yes Horseface and my exhubby were there, and once again.. he just WANTED TO TALK TO ME. So, I had some things to get off my chest.
He didn’t tell me his mother died. I told him he didn’t tell me. He didn’t even realize I wasn’t his Facebook friend anymore so he assumed I knew. As you ALLLLLL know, I removed him in August ^^ His incompetence and lack of observation and plain stupidity showed he hasn’t learned shit in the year we’ve been apart. That just shows how far positive I am.
My friend was appalled too…she knows to stay away from him and to make sure he stays away from me.
And we are now officially chocolate buddies.
I did let go of some anger, because his incompetence just shows how much he is gonna be beaten by it someday. I must rise above.
I think I’m angry at myself for letting myself be poisoned like that.
But it’s okay. He can’t hurt me. I’m safe. I’m happy. And he’s a moron, and that makes some visceral need satisfied.
reesubmerged 
Croakings