Posts tagged gaming

Needs and Wants Encounter # 19 and a Reflection

December 12, 2012 · Filed under Encounters, Reel World Observations · Tagged , , , , , , , , ,

I wrote this on Thursday and was going to post it. But I am glad I didn’t.

It is a gorgeous day in December. Anticipated high temperature is 72 degrees. The sun is shining down on me.
And yet, I cannot keep a dry eye. I slept okay, but lying in bed, fighting the urge to stay there …it seems like its my only to do list today.
It is not seasonal depression; its a struggle. I know why I am so sad.
What if you were told you could have everything you wanted, but you had to wait an unspecified amount of time. And in the meantime, you would have A LOT of distractions to keep you from wishing and wanting that thing, That way, you could sustain your patience.

And if you sustained your patience, you would sustain your faith. The faith that what you are told, that what you want will come true. The outcome! Signs! clear signs point you to it…

But none of the distractions have started and that’s why I don’t want to get out of bed. My faith got eroded after a small seed of doubt surfaces. Because no distractions have started, I wonder if there is  a reason for that or if I am forgetting something. I need to focus on the little victories again.

The last time I was told something I followed it. It was exactly what I needed to do. Everything was right except for 1 small detail.

And now my future is so bright, but if it is  y future. I really need to get better at handling the present.

To remind myself I am not without distraction..that it is really too early for any solid results.

I CAN’T let my seed of doubt grow. I know I have to keep the faith. And I’m generally the one with the strongest will i know.

And then this weekend happened. And this whole attitude changed completely.

My encounter was going back to Bob’s for the weekend to do some gaming. I was going to meet some new people! I looked very forward to it since I have had a string of rough and tough days ^ See above. The first night at Bob’s is spent the usual way: catching up on months of events, discussion random deep topics, and playing video games or watching comedy. All was harmless enough

The next day came and boy did I meet some new people. As you are I know I am not a good read. However, I am 100% sure about this one. The first friend of Bob’s I met, was a completely neutral encounter. We were both like “Hey, I am [blank] Let’s game!”

The second friend was a very different story.

Firstly, I opened the door to let him in. The look I got when I opened the door was borderline stunned. I showed him in and sat down. I introduce myself by my name and his eyes got wider. My first impression was him, “Oh! He’s cute!” But something was off. He didn’t know where to sit, he did not directly look at me in the eye most of the time, even when i was talking to or looking at him. He seemed quite like a nervous wreck. His icebreaker was showing me his dog, and he was slightly less nervous. I found out he had a fiancee with my same name! He still wouldn’t look at me. He ended up sitting next to me at the table. He did occasionally look at me when he was talking to me during the game. I kept trying to figure out his behavior.

After an hour or two, especially when he kept patting me on the head [People/Geeks do that to me a lot. Its not a bad thing and it doesn’t bother me. Its just like.. Oh Reebit…] it dawned on me!

HE WAS ATTEMPTING TO FLIRT, or was at least scared to. He obviously felt guilty and tried to control himself to not flirt much. He was attracted to me but knew he had a fiancee. I was a very good girl. I did not flirt back. When the guys figured out i had brought snacks, including the ever elusive baked goods, he hugged me, but asked permission first.

After the game, he stayed and talked for while. We, [him, Bob, and I] got to know each other a bit better. During this conversation it was blatantly clear he was attracted to me but was using all his willpower not to show or act on it. How was it so obvious that even I picked it up? He basically told me point blank I had nice boobs, Bob and I just laughed.

I understood. We understood. There was some attraction but it wasn’t going to be acted upon.

On Sunday, there was some flirting in the form of him putting his cold drink on my neck unexpectedly and still, lots of head patting. When I left it looked like he was going to give me a hug but he thought better of it.

I’ll be back every three weeks to Bob’s to play this game.

I’ve been needing this type of thing to happen to remind me that I have a lot going for me, and that I am attractive to some people.

And who said you don’t always get what you want? I wanted a sign, I was on the right path. And I got it. I have to remember before i worry about a long term relationship, that I want,  that I need to shop around.  I haven’t done it before, and there is a lot to be learned from that.

Now if only I could find a date for New Years Eve…

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Favorite Things Thursday: Favorite Board/Card Game

July 12, 2012 · Filed under Blog Hop Posts · Tagged , , ,

OMG!!!!! OMG!!!!! OMG!!!!!!!

Reasons why I am this excited:

1. I CAN ACTUALLY PARTICIPATE IN FAVORITE THINGS THURSDAY!

2. I adore card games and board games, and I have A LOT of favorites.

Essentially, All my friends and I LOVE playing board and card games.

My personal favorite is the Settlers of Catan, which I’ve talked about a bit if I remember. It is a combination of monopoly and statistics.

But what takes the cake is………….

BETRAYAL! http://cardboardanddice.com/2010/11/01/demons-rats-and-blobs/

That post is from my friend Chris who did a gaming blog a long time ago. This was seriously the best game ever. He does a better job of explaining it than I could because I’ll get caught up in so many details and spoilers.

My favorite card game cannot be chosen completely either.  I really really really really enjoy all card games. Regular and specialized.

I just realized I said nothing in this post. But I am just too excited and now I want to play them all now. Too bad my friends are a bit scattered everywhere.

Check out that Betrayal Game! It is not your traditional board game.

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Slaying the Boss Monster: A Metaphor and a Lesson

July 10, 2012 · Filed under Reel World Observations · Tagged , , , , ,

 

RAWR! I R BOSS DWAGON! SLAY ME!


In my MMORPG, there is this incredibly hard boss monster that most people are terrified of. I was for a very long time. He killed many a good adventurer trying to stop his evil scheme. Other players would tell me how to beat him, “Shoot him with a crossbow! And hide behind his throne!” “You can slash him with a sword! He’ll die that way too.”

I had contemplated doing this quest for a long time. I had many more levels than the minimum and many other lower levels had beaten him before me. I still quivered in fear. I knew I was going to die and that I couldn’t do it. Some friends of mine had other people do the quest for them.  However, I had done everything on my own so far, so I was determined to finish this quest on my own.

And then, it came down that I had 2 tasks on this list to go. At the end of this list was a VERY nice experience award. One of them was this hard boss, the other was to play this miniquest and receive a magical axe that sets logs on fire when you’re cutting trees. (I know! Awesome right?)

So one tired night after my internship, after I’d procrastinated and procrastinated, I decided to kill this boss monster. The puzzles weren’t hard. I defeated the first enemy with little trouble. And soon enough I was facing the most challenging quest monster of the game. In about 6 minutes without dying, I defeated him.

It was anticlimactic really. He was A LOT easier than what everyone made him out to be but no, all I had to do was wear some upgraded armor and he was trembling in fear. Here I was thinking about this supposed accomplishment and it didn’t feel like one at all.

And then I had to get the fiery axe of doom! Piece of cake right?

Wrong. Something everyone told me was easy, something that everyone had done at a low level with 0 problems took me 7 hours, 5 tries, and millions of game gold. I was so frustrated I just couldn’t believe it. I had to light 14 torches in a row running around the game world. During this time, my computer kept disconnecting because it can only do so much. Essentially this cost me valuable minutes.  One time I died because I forgot a potion. One time my animal companion disappeared.  Murphy’s Law everywhere.  I eventually got my fiery axe of doom and my super awesome reward.

If you’re still reading this, you probably have a lot of questions.

“SHE HASN’T POSTED IN 3 WEEKS AND SHE’S RAMBLING ABOUT SOME GAME?!”

Yes and no actually.

Slaying a boss monster is a metaphor for the past few weeks of my existence. I got handed an emergency project that was HUGE with REAL deadlines and REAL consequences. At the end of it, it was NO BIG DEAL. I get handed what I believed was my last major project for the internship, where it was going to take me 3 weeks. No. it was no big deal. I got it done with my co-worker in 1.5 days.

What this means is, I’m scared for this next project. It looks small. It looks doable. It looks almost afkable [gamers know what I mean.]

And it will probably kick my ass.

General Update: I’ve been social with my friends these past few weeks. Ended up going to an art gallery thing for Peanut Butter, stayed at houses and played board and video games. Did not see fireworks on the 4th of July. NO AWKWARD MOMENTS! Maybe I’m getting the hang of this social thing, or else I’m just comfortable around friends.

Coming up: A Hair Saga, my Awkward trip to Boston, and more!

Thanks for being patient.

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Breaking a Vow and a Quarter Life Crisis

June 13, 2012 · Filed under Reel World Observations · Tagged , , , , , , ,

I love that song and yes, it applies.

A long time ago, I vowed to never work in a cubicle. I felt that the mundane nature of office life would break my soul and drown it in paperwork at the bottom of desk drawers.

Well I have been forced to break my vow with this internship. If It weren’t for my commutes I would have no daydreams at all and very little energy when I got home. That would kill me. I need my daydreams.

I have to wonder though. Did I actually make an energetic or binding vow when I told myself I wouldn’t succumb to that life? My intent was to not work in a  business environment because there is very little meaning in that for me. But since I have never actually worked in a cubicle did I stunt my success? Is that the reason I never amounted to anything when i wasn’t in school? Is this internship strong enough to break my self fulfilling prophecy?

I had a horrible day yesterday. I was fighting depression as soon as I woke up in the morning, but things escalated when i found out I had done my first big project WRONG. I had researched, created models and layouts, and I had spent 3 weeks doing nothing but failing! This had been my consistent record in this internship so far. Everything was wrong or not the way they wanted it. I just didn’t feel like I wasn’t cut out for this and I wanted to cry so hard. What on earth was keeping me from doing this right? Was I really not meant to be in an office?

Then during my afternoon break, I was invited by Peanut Butter over to his house to hang out. He too is going through a quarter life crisis. I was only too happy to go since I knew if I just went home I’d cry for a long time. Plus I hadn’t gotten out of the house for awhile.

So the entire crew showed up plus PB’s partner on a project. Beautiful! A Tuesday night impromptu get together  where we could relax and have some fun. I had to leave early because of my schedule but the work was worth it.

It was so ironic that after a discussion of PB’s quarter life crisis that we played the actual game of Life. I actually won because I had the most life tiles. It was fun to have an oasis like this during the week. I need more socialization.

I gave PB the answer to his crisis via a fortune from a fortune cookie, “Every man is the architect of his own fortune.” That is something I will remember but it is not my answer. My crisis is looming.

It’s not my career I am worried about. I have one year to worry about that. My crisis is social. How will I make new friends? Have relationships? Grow creatively? Build my inner life?

I have no answers, only desires. I play with them when I daydream on my commutes. That’s when I truly enjoy life. I just want to make it my life so badly.

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Video Games as Therapy

April 29, 2012 · Filed under Reel World Observations · Tagged , , , , , ,

Video Games!! Yay!!

I have been such a Debbie Downer lately, I have been trying to figure out why so that I can solve this annoying problem.As usual, I was distracted by video games before I could get any real answers.

After playing Super Mario 3, the Power Rangers game for SNES, and shooting stuff on Halo: Reach it didn’t matter why I was upset or off balanced. What mattered was how many times I could stomp on Goombas, beat the crap out of Putties, and blow up my enemies. Somewhere between my 5 hour video game marathon, I became my normal self again.

I left my note last post about thinking of the different forms of therapy. I’ve often thought of video games as therapy because of how they would help me in the past. When people pushed me around or otherwise treated me poorly, I’d race in Mario Kart or kick butt in Zelda. It would help me gather my thoughts, as I often found video games as a way to stimulate creativity.

I don’t know how much research has been done on the positive effects of video games, but there are no doubt many benefits…in moderation of course.

No. I’m not going to go that middle of the road approach. Screw that.

I am just sick of ignorant politicians and parents who care less about their children hate on video games because they don’t understand or jump to conclusions.

Do you know how many times I wanted to physically hurt my bullies? Do you know how much I wanted to fight back with violence? But I have a heart, I don’t want to hurt people.

Instead, I hurt them vicariously though video games. If anything, video games kept me from getting into fights and being angry at people.  I could be angry at little pixels that didn’t matter.  I could hurt Gannon who destroyed a beautiful world…I could fight evil demon armies that were trying to resurrect a goddess of the Underworld! They personified my enemies; I was good and they were hurting me. Violence was only excusable against evil.

Violence, in particular in video games has been accused of causing Columbine, the Norway Massacre, and other world events. Politicians try to regulate it and try to keep games like Grand Theft Auto out of the public.  This is nonsense.

Yes there are imbalanced people in the world. For some people, getting fantasy revenge is not enough.  But few people try to remedy the situation before it gets bad, and instead when it all goes down try to point the figure at everyone else but themselves.

Video games are easy targets. They spread ideas and stories around. How dare they spread ideas…some which may not be mainstream…

This is where parents feel helpless and attack video games for exposing their children to ideas different than what they want them to know. I should rephrase: Teenagers. How dare teenagers form their own opinion?

Fact: Children cannot distinguish what is reality or fiction until 8 or 9 years old. That’s why everyone wants to take their kids to Disney World so they think they actually met Mickey Mouse.  If you buy your kid Halo before that Disney World buffer, they might not adjust well and might think violence is acceptable. But a teenager playing Call of Duty, that’s different.

I wish there was a video game about Gay Marriage.  Like, a Prince falls in love with another Prince, and that second Prince gets kidnapped by an evil Turtle Lord looking suspiciously like Rick Santorum, and the first Prince grabs a sword and goes after him?  This plot is Mario and Peach; same idea, different layout.

But then people would be clamoring for this game to be taken off the market because it’s evil.

Video games are therapeutic. Trust me.

If you want to join in the fight to protect video games– check out these guys AND GALS:

The Video Game Voters Network 

It’s their priority to protect free speech and make sure video games are being properly regulated.

A brief editorial: If you aren’t a girl who plays video games, what’s wrong with you? It’s definitely better than watching that Jersey Shore or Housewives of [Pick any large city with more plastic surgeons than schools]. Pick up a controller and play!

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Encounter # 4 I’d Like to Play You the Song of my People

April 1, 2012 · Filed under Encounters · Tagged , ,

Like Ron White said once, “I’ve told you that story so I can tell you this story.” I am referring to Reewind #2. You see I was invited to go to another convention with Bob this weekend. I’ll have to say it was the most fun I’ve had all year.

I stayed at Bob’s apartment across the state where this convention was taking place. This con was smaller and more focused then the other one I went to this summer. The focus of this con was role playing and table top games. In preparation for the stories that we were going to encounter, Bob and I watched an awesomely bad movie, The Last Lovecraft: Relic of Cthulhu.

Epic.

We then watched Dungeons and Dragons: Wrath of a Dragon God. However, we didn’t pay too much attention to this one because we had a lot of catching up to do. I had not seen nor talked to him since that June so we talked through the whole thing. We went to bed ungodly late.

In the morning our day of geekiness had begun! We grabbed something to eat and headed straight for the convention.  I wore my standard uniform for conventions [at least the first day] and was very excited! I was hoping to meet someone other than myself that played my MMORPG but unfortunately I met no one there the entire day. Shucks.

I was introduced to a couple of Bob’s gaming partners but they had their own schedules. I was not sure what tables to go to with which games, so I stuck with Bob the entire day. Since it was my first time at this convention, I was still a bit timid. I would rather be told what to do the first time so that way I could observe, and then the next time I would avidly participate!

We played a really fun game called Untold in the afternoon. Untold is a RPG based off of cards and involves really creative characters. I was a robot and Bob was some sort of animal with magic powers. Our GM or Game Master, the person hosting the game, found our adventure quite entertaining as we defeated spider people and blew up a wrecked ship Capitan Kirk style.

RPGs to me are like “create your own” video games. Plus I get to use all this imagination built up into a story. I love story telling. I forgot how much I enjoyed doing this!  But it wasn’t like I was not a part of an RPG over 3 years…

I was part of a really fun concept game called Scion, where we were sons and daughters of gods and goddesses and had to prevent the mythological Titans from taking over the world in some form or another. It took place in present day so we had cars and guns as well as special items from the centuries.  I was the daughter of Rhiannon, the Celtic horse goddess, and an animal psychic. I really enjoyed being this character.

But I hated the game. I really had trouble with my roleplaying group. My personality did not mix well with the chaotic, loud, and sometimes rude players. Of course I was the only girl, which as girl geeks know can be quite hard to deal with. It did not help that several members were socially missing the boat and I could never quite get my idea or turn out without being interrupted. I wish there was some sort of courtesy rule.

But because of this I stopped playing with my husband and his acquaintances. I just couldn’t handle it, but I also stopped having a regular thing to talk to my husband about.

Back to the present, I had forgotten how much imagination I truly had. It felt really natural to be doing this, and I realized that I now had a way to meet people again. Maybe I’ll get in with a current RPG group. At least my mom would like the fact I was out of the house.

That evening, we were lucky to get the last two spots in a very popular role playing game Call of Cthulhu. I had never played it before but I had done some board gaming with the Arkham concept. Arkham Horror a mini RPG/Board game that can take up to 8 hours to finish. Geekdom is not for the weary.

The main organizer of the convention was our GM, which meant it was going to be awesome! A bad GM can make or break a game, so we knew we were in capable hands. Besides Bob and me, there were 4 others, even another girl! However there was only one pre-constructed character that was a girl. For times sake I just played a Navy officer.

I did not like my character at all. His stats were so strange and he did not have many skills.

It also did not help I rolled so badly! Most games are played with a set of different shaped dice. These dice are called D20s, D8s, etc. The D stands for dimension. You have to get certain numbers for certain things to happen. Roll too high or too low you fail and you have to figure out what to do next.

My character was useless and got beat up so much. I ended up shooting some zombies effectively but that’s about it.

The whole game, which had a horror theme, was so hilarious! Imagine Looney Tunes meets a horror movie. We kept messing up all our numbers, by random chance mind you, so it became a comical tale of misfits and how they got beat up by cowboy hat wearing drug addicts while a businessman summoned an Elder God.

Oh and sandwiches. The setting was 1920s America, so there were lots of sexist jokes about sandwiches. As a guy character I could have joined in, but I decided against it.

After 5 hours of gaming, Bob and I went to Taco Bell and then watched a stand up comedy special. This was such an amazing weekend! I got a chain mail bracelet (In case someone wields a sword my wrist is protected) a new set of dice, and a D20 magnet for my car. Yes, the world needs to know about my hobbies.

It felt so good hanging out and being among people I had something in common with. Most of the time I feel like a stranger in a strange land. I doubt many people I come into contact with have these hobbies and if they do they do not advertise them.  Why do people feel like they have to hide?  I am open about all these things I do, and many of them seem childish to most people. Considering most of the people I met were a lot older than me and having fun, I am not worried about it.

So come, let me play you the song of my people. It sounds like whatever your imagination can create.    And dubstep. Can’t forget dubstep.

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Reewind #2 My First Geek Convention June 2011

March 30, 2012 · Filed under Reewinds · Tagged , , , , ,

My Favorite Gaming T Shirt

So my husband became heavily into Star Trek before we were married, to the point of joining the international fan club and going to monthly meetings. I didn’t mind this habit because it was similar to my own online and console gaming addiction. However, it was pretty much mandatory for him to go to this huge science fiction/gaming/anime convention and as a new wife I went along.

We stayed in the hotel where the con was had but my husband forgot who he was married to. If I have never been somewhere before, I get all antsy and worried because I don’t know the rules. What am I supposed to do there? Where am I supposed to go? What am I supposed to wear? Who am I supposed to talk to?

I was thrown to the wolves as all questions went unanswered.

“Oh you’ll be fine. It’s just some Star Trek people, and there will be parties and drinking and it will be fun! You’ll see.”

Parties you say? Drinking you say?

Crap. Here I was at the height of my aversion to people stage, and I would be required to go to parties with crazed Star Trek fans and there would be drinking. This was going to be my personal hell.
I have friends that go to cons, get all dressed up as their favorite characters and have a ball. I feel quite insecure in costumes, there was a lack of money for many of the basic types, and so I stuck with my cargo pants and a special T-Shirt from my favorite online MMORPG. [That stands for Mighty Morphin’ Orangutan… Oh wait not that one—Massively Multiplayer Online Role Playing Game.]

I don’t remember what my husband wore. I was too focused on me being socially acceptable.

The friends we went with wore preplanned outfits of the Steampunk variety. [Think about the Victorian Ages meets technology.]  They looked amazing while I looked like I had rolled out of bed that morning. Frankly, that’s been the dress code I’ve known for gamers my entire life.

When we got there it was fine for awhile. There were exhibits and speakers, and slutty girls wearing skimpy costumes and nerdy guys gawking at them [including my husband].  There were workshops and screenings. There was even a whole room for tabletop gaming! That’s where your Dungeons & Dragons are, along with nontraditional board games like Settlers of Catan.

I wanted to go in that room and participate so badly! There was a sign up sheet and everything. But I knew I would not see my husband and I had gone there with him. Wasn’t I supposed to stay by his side and do what he was doing? Would I be able to leave him unsupervised?

But then I had a savior.  A friend of mine [from here on out known as Bob] that my hubby and I had known since college was at that convention too!  Once I found him he hung out with all of us, kind of awkwardly, but that was to be expected as our other friends were not real keen on having someone else around. I was just so glad he was there!

I was waiting for him outside one event and this guy came up next to me and started talking to me. My MMORPG T-shirt had a catchy saying on it “Level 99 Party Animal.” There is a particular significance in my game of a Level 99 Party, but I never thought that that saying might have had another meaning.  Instead of “Hey, How are you doing?” the conversation went like this.

“So, Level 99 Party Animal huh?”
”Yep.”

“So, do you get special abilities, like drinking as much as you can?”
”Nope, it’s when you get level 99 in a particular skill and people have a party for you!”

“Oh I see.”

My brain went full fledged female at this point. I brushed my hair back highlighting my sparkly wedding rings, saying that I should go find my friend. He was too adorable for me to be seen with.

My husband did not go to any events with me the rest of the day. It was just me alone or my friend and I. We saw each other for dinner. That night everyone had a choice of going to Klingon Karaoke, where all the songs are in Klingon, or a comedy show with nerdy comics. I love stand up comedy, so I gladly went to the comedy show. My hubby, of course, chose karaoke.

Wouldn’t you know it the guy that tried that smooth pick up line was one of the main comics! He looked at me and commented twice, involving me in his jokes. I felt very awkward because I was married and I thought maybe he was flirting, but I was not sure.

In retrospect, I really should have talked with him. But that’s coming from the kind-of-single-lady I am now.

Bob left and I just headed back to the room to play my MMORPG. I wasn’t sure what else to do and that’s what I enjoyed.

Awkwardness level 9/10

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